A Bit of Advice....

Consider this your official, slightly unhinged survival guide to conquering the crowds, the famously fickle weather, and your own questionable footwear choices. Read on..... your tour awaits.

Before Your Tour

Spontaneity is for Pigeons: These tours are more popular than a royal baby. Book in advance...not on the day.
Decode the Rendezvous Point: Your confirmation email confirms the meeting spot. Study it like a treasure map. The London Underground has a habit of being busy, so plan your route in.
Embrace Meteorological Mayhem: Look at the weather forecast. Now laugh at its foolish optimism. That glorious sunshine will betray you. It will rain.
Power Up! Your phone's battery will drain faster than your will to live after queuing for a selfie with Big Ben.

Urban Survival Gear

Treat Your Feet Like Royalty: This is a walking tour. Wear the most comfortable trainers you own.
Wield a Trusty 'Brolly': You'll need it as a shield against the inevitable drizzle.
Deter the Light-Fingered Gentry: A zipped-up bag worn where you can see it is essential. The pickpockets around Westminster are artists, and you are a walking opportunity.
Pre-emptive Snacking is a Serious Sport: Avert a "hangry" crisis by packing snacks. A cereal bar costs a sensible amount in your bag; bought next to Parliament, it costs roughly the same as a small island nation.

During the Tour

Don't Be 'That Guy': Arrive 10 minutes early. Don't be 'that guy' 'who shows up late, breathless, and holding a large map upside down.
Master the Tourist Shuffle: You will be surrounded by a slow-moving herd of people all stopping abruptly to take a picture of something cool. Stay close.
Multitask: The Artful is dropping fascinating historical truth bombs, but there's a guard in a fuzzy hat! It's a tough balance. Try to listen while you snap. The fuzzy-hat-man isn't going anywhere.
Engage Your Audio Receptors: Ask questions! You've paid for a walking, talking encyclopedia. Squeeze every last drop of historical gossip and weird facts out of the Artful.
The Quest for the Mythical Free Loo: Public toilets are rarer than a sunny bank holiday in London. When the Artful Georgian points one out, GO if you need to.